the “shedding religion” path
Jim October 14th, 2008
as you know, a while back i started a “shedding religion” Yahoo Group for people to connect with one another as they continue along the path of living in spiritual freedom. for an outsider looking in, some of the steps on this path seem questionable. what follows are a few of those common objections, and my response to them based on my own experience and how it all evolved for me.
You don’t go to church anymore
If a person’s involvement in a church feeds and reinforces a message and perspective that hinders their knowing God, then it makes complete sense not to involve yourself there anymore. Many Christians receive their understanding about God through the institution of Church and when they discover this understanding is deeply flawed and they see how this flawed understanding has damaged their lives, they remove themselves from their church. The reason most people object to this is because these confuse leaving one’s church with leaving one’s faith. Research shows that “church leavers” grow stronger in their faith, as opposed to digressing in their faith. The issue is also controversial because people wrongly equate “church” with their specific form of church. There are an endless number of forms of church ranging from highly organized to practically no organization at all. Many people who leave organized church eventually connect in smaller, more informal types of community, which may not comply with the letter of the law when it comes to institutional church but fulfills the true spirit of “church.”
You are reading some really weird books
Many Christians in the “shedding religion” process will read books that: a) looks at their Christian faith with a critical eye, b) promotes spirituality over religion, c) offers a different and fresh view and perspective on faith and God. Let me give you some examples. Some people will be drawn to “emergent” authors because they often write with a critical eye toward status quo Christianity. What i mean by “critical” is not being negative but careful and in-depth evaluation. For example, Brain McLaren’s A New Kind of Christian trilogy offers a critique and alternative to status quo Christainity in the form of a story. It’s no secret why McLaren and others like him get hammered by the Christian establishment. If you mess with city hall, you’re going to pay for it. People criticize such authors as having “bad theology.” In my opinion, many of the criticizers have “bad theology,” and so i’m not sure where that argument ends. Even people like Chris Seay, Frank Viola, and Wayne Jacobsen (the list is very long) get criticised for not holding the party line on what a “good Christian” should or shouldn’t believe and do. Such writers are compelling to “shedding religion” folks becuase they offer the prospect of knowing God and following Jesus as a way of life as opposed to check-list Christianity of Christianity as institutional involvement or compliance.
People who are “shedding religion” are also drawn to books that promote and speak to spirituality over religion or books that focus on nurturing your inner world. You’d be surprised to know even how many church-going Christians secretly read Eckhart Tolle books but would never admit it. For some people, reading one chapter out of The Power of Now was worth more than one year of sermons. This is also the reason why some Christians become interested in Buddhism and Eastern spirituality; these seem to speak more deeply to the root condition of humankind and one’s inner spiritual world as opposed to the focus of a lot of pop-Christian writings. At first, some people are not aware that there is a rich Christian tradition of contemplatives and mystics who lived a very robust Christ-centered spirituality. A few contemporary examples might be Thomas Merton, Ricahrd Rohr, Bede Griffiths, and Flora Wueller.
You are in danger of going off the deep end
Perhaps one of the most annoying things (to those who judge them) about people who are shedding religion is that they begin thinking for themselves. Some Christians have come from churches where the idea is fostered that congregants should only expose themselves to church-approved leaders, teachers, writers, musicians, politicians etc…because doing otherwise would be the equivalent of purchasing a one-way ticket to the flames of hell. Apparently, only a very select few people are capable of discerning truth on their own, the rest of us are ill-equipped for doing so and would be easily lured into all kinds of error if left to our own. I know this may be difficult for some to believe, but people are capable of being exposed to all kinds of differing views of God, and can discern for themselves what truth is present in these views, and what of these views seems inconsistent with truth. I have a Buddhist friend; i have detected truth is things he believes but i did not become a Buddhist. I have an Atheist friend; i totally agree with this person’s views on various things but i did not become an Atheist. I have a N.Y. Yankees friend, i agree that the Yankees have some of the best baseball players but i did not become a Yankees fan. People are truly capable of doing this sort of thing.
When people begin thinking for themselves and base their opinions on firsthand personal experience, they realize that the world doesn’t fit so nicely into all the labels and boxes that religion is sometimes prone toward imposing on things. Religion and politics seems to share a difficulty in disagreeing with others without demonizing them, and wants to slice up the world into the “us” and “them” camp or the “right” and “wrong” camp. I’m not talking about turning a blind eye to evil in the world, or pretending that one’s beliefs doesn’t fuel such evil. All religions, including Christians, have justified evil in the name of God.
You can’t give a straight answer
Over the weekend something on C-SPAN caught my attention. Lehman Brothers CEO, Ricahrd Fuld, was testifiying before congress about the Lehman collapse. Frustration escalated as various congress members asked questions, apparently assuming that Fuld’s answers would be swift and straightforward. Fuld had answers, but they weren’t the simplistic ones congress members were fishing for. In many instances, congress members asked Fuld to answer certain questions with just a “yes” or “no.” Fuld refused, and frustrations intensified. i am no Wall Street expert but it sure seemed to be that Fuld was dead on in the way he answered questions, which was showing the complexity of the Lehman collapse, and all the moving parts involved. Regardless of how much blame one lays at the feet of Fuld, it seemed to me that the congress was frustrated by the fact that the whole situation couldn’t be so easily sorted out in order to cast blame. I honestly wondered if they really wanted to know and understand it, or just looking to for Fuld to cough up some answer that would support their pre-determined conclusions.
Likewise, lots of questions aren’t as easy anymore for Christians in the “shedding religion” process. For example, questions like: “Are you a Christian?” or “Do you believe in the Bible?” or “Do you go to church?” or “Do you believe in the gospel?” are no longer “yes” or “no” questions for a person who is “shedding religion.” He or she is immediately wondering what is your definition of a “Christian,” and what is your interpretation of the Bible, and how you delineate what “church” is, and how do you understand the “gospel?” By not answering “yes” or “no” it is not a sign that the person is “dodging the issue;” they legitimately cannot answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” It would be better to ask more open-ended questions like, How is Jesus Christ relevant to you?
my disclaimer: my wife Pam sometimes feels I am “too hard” on the “Christian establishment.” Let me be the first to say that I know many people who identify themselves as “Christians” who are deeply spiritual, and not guilty of the things I described above. Some of these Christians have had a big influence on my own journey. I also know there are organized forms of church that promote true and authentic Christ-centered spirituality, as well as open, honest, and authentic relationships. I know many Christian churches that are wonderful expressions of love, compassion, and service in the communities where they exist. Since my personal experiences are in some cases related to Christians and churches (including myself) that were guilty of the above shortcomings, I am prone to speak of it. Based on my experience the last few years since writing Divine Nobodies and Wide Open Spaces, I have encountered countless numbers of people who have a similar experiences. I mainly wrote the above post in hopes of encouraging more understanding about many people who are in “shedding religion” mode.
(photo by zoo gal)
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- Comments(18)
Thanks Jim. I have read your books and agreed wholesale. The journey you describe is one many of my friends have been on. Some are prospering in their faith, some surviving, other dying, one dead. A bit like established church then!
I am a an assistant pastor. I have been working through this stuff for about 5 years. Have read the above books, and gone on the huge emotional spiritual roller-coaster. Tried to transition some stuff at one church, with some progress. We moved (felt called by God) to go to another church which we didn’t really warm to, and this has not been fruitful in terms of expanding the horizons of church for people. Now I am tired. Very tired. We have not, until now, felt the release from God to “come out.”
My family are about to leave professional pastoral ministry, at a time that goes hand in hand with hopefully emigrating to Canada (from the UK). We don’t really know what we will do or how we will survive. We have church connections there, but the church we are connected to is on this journey together, and is dying to itself. However, sometimes I don’t know if I can face even that any more.
We have dreams of living for God, of a life shaped faith, but have struggled to find anything that points in that direction or any support for our yearning within church leadership structures. When I have spoken about these things there is enthusiasm from some, but never permission to explore things with others. I spend most of my time in church meetings taking part, but not knowing if I believe the things I am saying, and deeply uncomfortable with what others are saying.
There are many good people, doing great things through our established church. Ours seems more missional (based on some understanding of the word) than most. I see amazing God incidences that make me feel like God is into what they are doing, and we (my wife and I) must be way off track. But it is not easy to simply change the way you think. We believe that God has us on this journey, even if it seems to contradict the experience of God within the setting we find ourselves in. So while we know that God reigns, it feel like confusion reigns presently.
Sorry for a bit of an uncoherent ramble, but what is inside is what comes out.
Jim- I think you are spot on here. I know from my own personal experience that what you say is so. About four years ago I began a journey out of organized religion. The questions which members of the “institution” pose to those who are shedding religion are very accurate. I know, because I am one of those who is “shedding”. There are five of us in my immediate family, only two of us are in this process. The others have absolutely no understanding of what is taking place. They have asked those very questions or have “made light” of the “shedding” process and “fear” for what is happening to us. In reading your books, I have found that I am, in reality, further down the “shedding” road than you. That’s fine. Everyone has his own path to follow and certainly we will all not experience the same things. I appreciate your willingness to express your searching for further meaning to all this. Your acceptance of all viewpoints is admirable. Thank you for presenting a forum here for us to share our experiences and learn from those of others.
Jim – Thanks, this is a helpful list. I’m a dead ringer in every case. My family and some friends don’t know quite what to do with us (my wife and I). My own process began with meeting a friend in Tokyo who wasn’t going to church anymore. I started out hoping to fix him, but the more I listened the less I argued. He also introduced me to Wayne Jacobsen. I think we all have a desire to know we aren’t alone as we go through these steps, even though our journeys are in separate places (and times, considering those who have gone before us). I’m glad to share your trust in the Spirit to show us the way.
Jon – Thanks for telling your story. I can’t imagine the challenges ahead, but it sounds exciting! I’m glad you can face the “contradictions” without losing your way. The mystery of it all is troubling, but it’s heartening to know God is bigger than my understanding.
[...] + Author Jim Palmer writes often about the process of “shedding religion” in search of spiritual truth. Though I feel like I’m in a different place than he is on my spiritual journey, I enjoyed his thoughts here. [...]
Jim,
I love the post
My friends and even my wife are shocked at times, with my blatant honesty about traditional religion. My journey started about 3 years ago and you nailed it with the post above–especially about the “yes” or “no” simple answers. I feel like if I answer a simple question with a simple answer, I am no longer being honest to myself or the person asking the question.
As far as the “weird books” section. I can relate 100%. On the table next to my chair in the living room, I have the Bible, books by atheists, deists, new Christians like you, Tolle (of course) and eastern religious stuff. It looks like the united nations in my living room. However, I am enjoying every word from all those books, and only accept from those books what I perceive or feel to be the truth. I always measure what I learn through my own personal experience, as you mentioned above–if a concept does not do well in my the real world, then I throw it out. I am finding out that the Bible does not have any corner on absolute truth.
Thanks
brave post and very true jim. as i have read tolle’s “a new earth” recently and speaking to people about it, i catch myself becoming guarded as to how they will react to what i am saying – but i found his writing very profound. now reading “jim & casper go to church” by jim henderson(the christian) and matt casper(the aethist) and it has interesting insights from visiting various churches around the country. it seems that casper is more willing to tell it like he sees it and challenges us to really think and grow.
Hi Jim, excellent post & makes good sense to me. I am a pastor working myself out of the paid professional clergy role. You’ve been one of the voices speaking into my journey & I really appreciate your life & writings. Keep speaking!
cool blog, Jim. i’ll be back to check out more later. can’t wait to read the “cheese pizza” posts.
[...] Are you one of them? Or does this touch an itch you’ve been wanting to scratch. Jim Palmer describes some symptoms of moving off the religion reservation. Maybe you can relate to some or all of them. [...]
you wrote, “for an outsider looking in, some of the steps on this path seem questionable”
and i observe that i am where was afraid to go, back when I was church-goer, and it’s still kinda scary at times.
so i find my comfort with this place to be a bit like a winding, country road through unfamiliar territory: Sometimes i feel amazingly freed to truly enjoy a greater sense of the Creator and Creation. Sometimes I wonder how far from God I have wandered, and if there is any going back (this assumes that the concept of the Christian God is the one-true-way).
Sometimes I wonder what’s around the next bend in the road, and am I traveling toward or away from God the Creator — or if there is even such a thing in Creation-language as toward and away.
A- There is no “wandering away from God”. Our Source is a part of everything and everyone. So you cannot “wander” away. Our tradition church “training” taught us that We are here and God is……………………………………………………..over there. It just isn’t so. He is here. He “is” us, in us, through us, inseparable. That was one of the hardest ideas of which I had to divest myself. We don’t “seek” the Source. You can’t “seek” something that is in everything and is in everyone, and is everwhere. Look in your heart and trust what it truly tells you. That Source loves you beyond any comprehension on our part. Source is truly the lover of our soul (spirit).
Nice writing! Very well put.
As someone who is following more of a Buddhist path I can say without a doubt that it speaks to the core of the human problem in a way that western Christianity does not. While I do not consider myself a Buddhist either (because I do not do the “religious” practices), the philosophy makes more sense and has been and impetus for more positive change in me than 15 years of church-going, church service, Bible college and ministry.
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IMO Christianity simply has no equivalent to the philosopher-mystics of the east. While I have not read a few of the authors you mentioned, I have read others. As Sam Harris points out, most remain shackled by the dualism of church doctrine, and the exceptions have been influenced by Neo-platonism and other heterodox views which is in defiance of their own tradition.
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On the other hand, the purpose of Buddhism is specifically the type of experience being discussed in your group. It has 2500 years of surprisingly sophisticated and rational teaching, practice and methodology that has proven to lead people to discover consciousness.
Don R is right when he says we cannot ‘wander away’ from that Source, and also “That Source loves you beyond any comprehension on our part. Source is truly the lover of our soul (spirit)”.
But suggesting that the spirit is the same as the soul is incorrect. The soul is part of the carnal mind, our humanity (ego-fleshy thing). Remember Saul had David to play for him because of his troubled soul. The spirit is peace. It cannot be troubled. In Genesis we are told firstly that man (us) was CREATED in God’s own image – this was when we ‘became’ and this is the Source, we ARE OF our Father. Adam (us) had a body of light at that time (no blood) and was both male and female. It was then we were given the choices (the two trees, to live or to die) Later we see God FORMED man with the dust of the earth and when he had breathed life into him he became a living soul – our humanity, spirit and soul in a ‘house’. From Adam, the soul was separated, that part of us that longs to better ourselves (we are all Adam). In that separated condition (separate from the spirit), the soul has no guidance. That was when we chose the wrong tree, instead of life we chose death. Remember Adam was asleep when this happened, and we in our dream made that choice thinking our ‘eyes would be opened’ And so they were, but to a world of imagination and lies. Right now Adam is beginning to wake up. As we turn our thinking around (metanoia) we find that the Source had never left us, it’s always been there and we cannot ‘wander away from it’
So A, be encouraged, when you think you have ‘wandered away’ just turn that way of thinking from your head to your heart, AND WAIT FOR THE FEELING OF LOVE AND PEACE TO ENVELOPE YOU. There, you are no longer in dreamland, you are beginning to wake up and be real and find your Father loves you.
I didn’t explain the above very well. While Adam was asleep Eve was separated from Adam – that is our soul, very much asleep,wandering around, judging things both good and bad, thinking we are separated from the spirit (the real us). When we turn to our hearts we become reunited, there’s no judgement, but in reality we’ve not been apart, we just THOUGHT we were. When we are in heart-mode thinking we find that the soul becomes the chamber to deliver the REAL US. Christ in us, out of us.
I’ve found that shredding religion has been very easily managed lately, after witnessing the intense judgment of the church on the innocents that merely question. I feel as though we are in an age where there is an entirely different type of witch hunt occuring, but it’s every bit as bloody. This hunt is being conducted by the church and the witches are the people who are shredding religion. Thank God they can’t actually burn us up haha… I think they would!
shedding religion…. not shredding. huge difference.
audrey- I realize , myself, a difference between soul and spirit. There are many who as yet do not grasp the difference between the two. I feel if these “newbies” in the journey out of the IC are given too many concepts at once, they will experience “overload”, which could be an unpleasant experience. I am simply trying to make the exposure to new terms and ideas as palatible as possible. Blessing to you.
Thanks for your post, Jim. Shedding religion in order to gain Christ is what I’m after.
Speaking of “church[es] that promote true and authentic Christ-centered spirituality, as well as open, honest, and authentic relationships”, have you heard about Frank Viola’s latest book, “Reimagining Church?” It sets forth a beautiful vision of the church based on the eternal purposes of God. I’ve read it and found it to be very insightful.
“Reimagining Church” is considered a sequel to “Pagan Christianity”. “. It picks up where “Pagan” left off and continues the conversation. (“Pagan Christianity” was never meant to be a stand alone book; it’s part one of the conversation.) “Reimagining Church” is endorsed by Leonard Sweet, Shane Claiborne, Alan Hirsch, and many others. You can read a sample chapter at http://www.ReimaginingChurch.org. It’s also available on Amazon.com. Frank is also blogging now at http://frankviola.wordpress.com/ .