The mistakes we make
Jim June 11th, 2009
What follows are a few mistakes I’ve made in my spiritual evolution and lived to tell about it. Referring to these as “mistakes” may be unfair. What I’m about to describe is fairly normal, probably unavoidable, and perhaps even necessary at the time. I own these choices as part of my journey these past few years. As it turns out, these choices didn’t defeat me. I refer to them as “mistakes” because they don’t seem to be very productive as a regular practice, and I would not intentionally repeat them again.
1. Fundamentalism
The term “fundamentalism” is probably most associated with ultra-conservative, legalistic Christians. However, I’ve discovered there are progressive/liberal Christian fundamentalists, Atheist, Agnostic, and Humanistic fundamentalists, Buddhist, Muslim, and Jewish fundamentalists, and New Age fundamentalists. What I mean by “fundamentalist” is postulating your belief system, philosophy, understandings or experiences as superior to others, which means others with different beliefs, understandings or experiences are either wrong or deceived.
In my case, I left Christian fundamentalism behind but managed to create a different fundamentalism around whatever my new understanding, concept, experience, or discovery was at the time. In other words, each step of enlightenment became the new “it” or standard that I judged others by. I wasn’t necessarily nasty or belligerent about it but there was a certain silent pride and arrogance to it.
2. Over-correction
You are driving down the street and notice you are about to go off the road into a ditch. Your reaction is to grab the wheel and by over-correcting, you fly across the road and off into the ditch on the other side. By avoiding one ditch, you managed to steer right into another. It’s no secret that any person who feels led astray and betrayed by their religion is likely to become it’s biggest critic. It’s not uncommon that in such cases the baby gets thrown out with the bathwater. For example, a person lives many years under the oppression of religion. In reaction to this, they over-correct and become an Atheist. There are lots of options between a hideous concept of God and concluding there is no God at all, but when you over-correct you skid by all the stuff in the middle and just go into the ditch on the side.
By the way, please don’t hear me saying that every person’s beliefs are the result of over-correction. I know Atheists who are not guilty of over-correction – they are Atheists because they have done their due diligence and have genuinely concluded that the existence of God is neither possible nor useful. Another example may be someone who concludes that the Bible isn’t a “supernatural” book and over-corrects to the view that the Bible has no value at all. For me, I have had some instances of over-correction. For example, organized church and religious rituals were not meaningful for me, and as a reaction I concluded all organized church and religious rituals are intrinsically meaningless and has no real objective value for anyone.
3. Insecurity
Insecurity can express itself in a strong need for your beliefs and experiences to be validated by others. How do others validate your beliefs and experiences? By agreeing with or sharing your beliefs and experiences. And so it’s not brain surgery to see that people who don’t agree or share in your beliefs and experiences are a threat to your sense of identity. You feel invalidated. It’s very difficult to truly accept and learn from another as long as your need for validation is running the show. What happens is that you begin dividing people up on sides. You want people on “your side” because that makes you feel secure and validated. People on the “other side” are seen as the enemy. Needing to be “right” is often a issue of insecurity and needing validation from others. Trust me, I made a fine art out of this.
4. Laziness
I don’t mean for the word to sound as harsh as it might seem. Here’s my point. Most people want a formula or magic bullet. They are not truly willing to do their own due diligence at a soul level, and would prefer someone just give them the answer. They are hoping for a formula that promises that if you do ‘A’ then ‘B’ will happen. Paradox, mystery, ambiguity, abstraction, self-honesty, vulnerability, humility are but a few of the things many people would like to avoid if possible, and would rather just have someone figure things out for them.
So, what mistakes have you made? In other words, what things have you discovered along the way that you’ve recognized as a hindrance in your journey? I guess it might require a dose of humility to share this sort of thing. I sometimes wonder if these kinds of issues hinder our truly learning from each other, and even accepting each other.
Consider this post to be the kind of thing where I’m asking you to draw upon your experience and wisdom from your journey. What have you learned? What would you have done different? Looking back, what mistakes have you made? Where do you see that you might have spared yourself or others a lot of difficulty? What is the wisdom you would share that we could all learn from? Every voice is welcomed regardless of where you are right now on your journey. People may be on totally opposite sides of the spectrum. Fine! I really hope we get responses from people who represent the entire spectrum.
So, what mistakes have you made?
(photo by Peter Heilmann)
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I started my journey as a saved child of God Jan 23 , 1980. I made a trip to the alter and shed many years of sin in a moments time, from that moment on it was a journey of good times, sad times, times of plenty and many times of Nada. I’ve had a taste of many denominational beliefs, a little Nazarene church , then went on to Foursquare, Non denominational, a time of about 7 years I was worshiping the Lord at home, and now I’m at an Assembly of God.
I guess I was a spiritual Hobo.. Often the church is hardest on it own and I don’t mean in a nurturing way with biblical correction, more in a worldly way. Through this I’ve learned that it’s not man I need to please but God. I don’t go to church for any other reason than to meet with my Lord,worshiping with other believers is a wonderful extra. I don’t just take for truth anything my Pastor says, though he’s a lovely person, I prove it with the word. That’s my standard. After all when it’s all said and done and we are standing before the throne of God we won’t be able to blame someone else for being led astray because he’s given us all the tools to make a wise decision, His word and the holy spirit.
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I’m saved not perfect so I still make lots of mistakes. I feel like a dumb sheep sometimes but I have grace to cover me and the blood to keep me saved. I hope that I will be a good example to those who look at me and say ” She’s one of those Jesus ( Yeshua) followers” Lets see how she really is. I know as sure as the sun will rise I’m going to disappoint someone sometime. I also hope I never forget to say” I’m sorry” and “Will you forgive me” when I am wrong. Anyway. I hope this is what your looking for. I also have a website at myspace.com/nannatimes5.
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Blessings,
Sandy
I appreciate your definition of fundamentalism as the new “it” or standard by which you judge others. Yes, that is a mistake I have made (and still do) but I have not used the vocabulary you used here. I like it! If you don’t mind I am going to borrow your definition of fundamentalism and use it myself . . . thank you.
Another mistake I have made in my journey could be termed as “guilty by association”. There are some great people who love Jesus and are sincere in their faith but because they were members of a certain kind of church structure with which I cannot agree, I did not give them the benefit of the doubt and accused them of the same things I was accusing the organization. In every form of church, there are some really good people and some of those people are even working for those institutions. I have learned not to group them all together.
Thank you, Jim for putting your thoughts to words for all of us to benefit!
Thank you Jim for laying this out so beautifully. If I am honest with myself, and you all, I would have to say that my biggest mistake was the heavy judgment I placed on the IC and even the people inside. I went thru a period of intense anger and felt betrayed and lied to about a lot. Perhaps it wasn’t a mistake at first because I wasn’t aware or awake to the fact my thinking was no better than what I felt the church did to others. Perhaps this separation is what I needed to be able to remove myself long enough to look inside, take what applied to me and leave the rest.
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But today however, I am no longer insecure, and partially Jim whether you know this or not, a piece of that came from you. With our private conversations I’ve realized that it’s ok to be honest about where I am and where I’ve come from so Thanks! But early on I used to argue back and forth with Geo, Bruce and others. I just could not see what they were seeing. They were in a different place and I was not ready to go there. I chose to go down the rabbit hole and still do! But the difference is I am no longer insecure about what I believe. I am what I am….
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Magic bullets are a waste of time for me. I see them for what they are. Someone else’s formula to get from A to B. I want to live off the map today, but when we first began this amazing journey, I did have a time where I wondered about starting another type of church, home church, small groups, etc etc. It took me a long time to be ok with not having a formula to follow and perhaps I’ve over corrected on this one because I am perfectly content with no labels. I bristle at the thought of sitting behind a pew and listening week after week to someone else’s interpretation of God, the Bible, how I SHOULD live….
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To be perfectly honest, the biggest mistakes I’ve made were being judgmental of others. Of thinking I had it all in the bag and they didn’t. How puffed up and arrogant is that?? Where’s the love for another? I recognize it, I own it, I let it go. Judgment still rears it’s ugly head, but I know it and can choose to let it die with all the other thoughts I choose not to pursue. Judgment is exactly how you describe it. The need for validation, the fear that I’m wrong. Judgment IMHO is wrapped up in our insecurities.
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What would I do differently? I’ve thought about this over and over again. Nothing. Except erase the hurt I’d more than likely piled on others. I takes time to unravel this huge ball of string we’re deeply entangled in. I forgive myself for the crappy things. If I can’t forgive me, how could ever forgive others?
Other mistakes I’ve made…
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I think there are times when I’ve not really appreciated how cultural circumstances and influences as well as a person’s current life situation and conditions relate to and impact their spiritual journey. Sometimes I’ve had a one-size-fits-all mentality or assumed people have had similar experiences as myself or assumed others desire the same things I do or find value in the same things I do or experience fulfillment the same way I do. I guess that’s an issue of projecting myself upon others.
Another mistake I’ve made is approaching people more or less assuming I understand. It’s like the counselor who has his or her predetermined, universal paradigm and by gosh you are going to fit into it one way or another! It’s like YOU aren’t even there or YOU are irrelevant, YOU are just another candidate for assuming your rightful place within the paradigm.
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It’s been helpful for me to approach people with the idea of NOT understanding.
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I don’t understand you but I want to.
I don’t understand what you need but I will listen.
I don’t understand your experiences but I will honor them.
I don’t understand your conclusions but I will not judge them.
Sunflower Mama, you said, “What would I do differently? I’ve thought about this over and over again. Nothing.”
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I can relate to your sentiment here. For me, my “mistakes” have taught me and deepened me so much. In many instances, they were part of this larger process of spiritual evolution that identified new layers to shed and kept me moving toward love, truth and freedom.
Finally a topic (mistakes) that I know something about!
I was going to list all my mistakes for you but found there simply wasnt enough memory in all of cyberspace. But seriously, I think if I had to narrow it down, the biggest mistake (that led to others) is not trusting God in times past. This seems so benign, so minimal but is actually the reason the Israelites didnt make it into the “promised land”, unbelief, a spirit of distrust, not believing His nature, His heart for us and that He will do (in us) what He promises, namely our deliverance from Egypt (worldy ways, captivity) and our transformation into Christlikeness. Mercifully, I have learned (am learning) the wisdom of trusting the Father. Its ironic that by faith we receive (or recognize) this gift of life (Christ within) and then turn around and dont trust the Giver? Ugg…He IS trustworthy!
Jim,
I posted nearly your whole article at my blog: http://jeffrhodes.wordpress.com/2009/06/12/mistakes/. I shared my thoughts. Thanx for sharing this. I hope my “plagerism” will be appreciated.
There are three GRAVE ‘mistakes’ that I’m learning not to make. But, even as I make them again, in the recognition and realisation of knowing what I’ve done YET AGAIN, I feel the spirit upholding me, urging me to keep pressing on to what is attainable NOW. And so I am still learning. I say ‘grave’ because the action is in the wrong realm – that humanity-nature where my old habits formed by my mind have the authority. Because the source is from my old nature (my ‘head’) it contains no LIFE, but instead is powerless and dead. That is not where I want to be. I have determined to give the authority of my life over to the ONE, the I AM within my heart, but those principalities and powers those forces in my mind that once held sway, rise up, sneak control.and the result is dead wood and thorns! Here are my 3.
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The first ‘grave action’ is not stopping my head kicking in as the primary first reaction when relating to another. What follows when I do this is a ‘head-to-head’, not just in a confrontational way, but also in a ‘joining-in’ type of way, producing a sort of psychic-unity and not that beautiful spirit unity that I desire. This keeps the other person, and me, locked into that lower realm where the building materials are corruptible – wood, hay, stubble and thorns. However if I’m able to stop and allow those deep feelings that are beyond emotions to ’speak’, the result will be gold, silver and precious stones – building materials that are incorruptible. As a tool and a ‘help’ at these times, my friend told me of a little chant that is useful to use as the stop-signal. Just silently say, ‘I’m sorry, I forgive you, I love you, Thank you’. It’s not the words, but the appealing to those deep feelings that is the key in using this chant.
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The second ‘grave-action’ is looking backward. What is done is done. If I leave it behind, then the spirit will be able to do the work he promises and turn it into good, but if I keep going back there, then I turn into a pillar of salt, standing useless in the desert, of no use to anyone – just a dead monument when my calling, my purpose is to be a usable salt.
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The third ‘grave-action’ is looking ahead, beyond what is attainable NOW. As soon as I go beyond what I presently see as comfortable for me to handle with understanding, I open myself to fear. The future’s not mine to see, kay sera, sera! Take no thought what you will wear or how you will be provided for, you are of far more value than the birds and the flowers, yet they are provided for in a manner worthy of royalty. Our salvation is working with the present, living in the NOW. That is sufficient for me.
Jim,
Another great topic! I’ve made just about all of these listed and more.
I think there are some reasons that most people commit the “fundamentalist” mistake. Each worldview that humankind goes through “includes, yet transcends” the one previous to it (Spiral Dynamics and Integral Theory). So as we see the world from the next highest altitude we see it in a different way and realize that the old way was at best “partially true”. We begin to experience reality from our new worldview (how could we not) and find it difficult to understand how we could have been so “ignorant” before and perhaps critique the old worldview. We may or may not realize that there may still be worldviews with a higher altitude our “new” worldview. At least that is my convoluted understanding of the problem.
Wish I had time to write more, but work is waiting….
Roger, your explanation for how “fundamentalism” can pop up in our spiritual journey rings true with me. Each “new” view can become our throne of superiority from which we look down at others who just don’t “get it yet.”
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Another question popped into my mind.
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Is the deal that there’s only one correct, cohesive, perfect, and all-encompassing worldview floating around out there that we are supposed to be finding? This “fundamentalism” seems to imply that there is one legitimate way for…
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- understanding God,
- explaining the universe,
- how we experience love, peace, and freedom,
- what motivates, inspires, nurtures, and fulfills us,
- experiencing the supernatural,
- identification with religion and spirituality
- interpreting Christianity or any religious belief system
- etc..
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What makes us think that what works for us should universally work for everyone? Perhaps a better question would be, is “fundamentalism” a result of assuming that we all are supposed to be coming up with the same thing on every level of understanding and experience?
Jim,
I suggest that fundamentalism is not so much that an individual feels that there is a basic way to explain the universe, or have a trust in and/or belief set about that – regardless about what that is. To say otherwise could be to suggest that there is something wrong with having a trust and/or belief set, in a particular thing. To me, it can also be fundamentalist to insist that anyone who places trust in a person or belief set or way of life or paradigm etc is inferior becasue the “real” “answer” is outside of any of that.
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I think that the difference lies in one of attitude towards others – imposing one’s views, or to behaving in a superior way over other views… It’s not, however, in my mind, about avoiding a connection to a particular paradigm. Huge difference in my mind.
what i was trying to get at vicki is that what you come up with in terms of whatever that “particular thing” is for yourself, i wouldn’t assume it would mean that this must be everyone else’s “particular thing.” not that this is what you meant but what i was sort of getting at in my comment. especially since our “particular thing” seems to change or take on new or different understandings, and therefore becomes a new “particular thing.”
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to clarify further as i was thinking about it…
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let’s assume there is only one truth. does everyone have to understand and experience that one truth in the same way? seems to be that this one truth would be more expansive than any one of us, and so to limit it exclusively to our own current understanding and experience (which is what fundamentalism seems to do) seems a little far fetched.
Jim,
clearly folks do not understand or experience one truth in the same way, even if as you say “let’s assume there is only one truth”. I think fundamentalism is primarily an issue of attitude – elitism, we/they thinking etc – as it relates to connection with others – how we connect with others around our experiences/beliefs/ etc rather than what one embraces for themselves internally.
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Re “internally” – One may embrace an understanding or experience that is true , but incomplete. Take, for example the 6 blind men and the elephant. One felt the trunk and claimed to know the elephant, one the tail, one the ear, etc. No one had the complete truth of the elephant, but what they did have was none-the-less true and legitimate – just incomplete. The “elephant” himself was objectively real. Perhaps when one feels that they have known and experienced all of that elephant, there is difficulty not only leading to fundamentalism, but also to cessation of growth.
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If, for example, one chooses to place a trust in Jesus in believing Him to be the son of God, died, resurrected, etc, that is not ‘fundamentalism” – that is a choice and one’s right. How one behaves and treats others in that choice can be either loving, accepting, open OR “fundamentalist”….. to extend this internally by saying that because one feels that Jesus is the son of God, died, resurrected, alive now in Spirit that they then know the totally of this “elephant”, one might describe this also as fundamentalist. The issue for me, would not be primarily the choice one makes in that, or in any other paradigm, but rather in how one treats others externally. and also if one is internally clutching a paradigm for it’s own sake,(let’s say the elephant’s tail) or internally open to mystery and growth in exploring that elephant.
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To me, this same priniciple could be applied to any formally or informally identified “world view” or paradigm. Ultimately for me, does one’s “world view” – regardless of what constituted that decision open one up and outwards to others in love, or inwards to protectionism, elitism, and we/they thinking.
I think the Postmodern critique is that all “truth” depends on perspective. Science has told us that is even true of “time”. This should be a reason allow us to be openminded to the plethora of religious view out there. But, here is the rub: There are different altitudes of worldview, and some simply cannot “see” the postmodern critique from their vantage point (like the view from different heights of the mountain), so they will write it off as elitism, or pluralism, or heresy etc. IMO, recognizing perspective is important and allows me to be a little more openminded to other people’s “truth”. You might check out Spiral Dynamics or Integral Theory for a more comprehensive view of this stuff. It’s pretty interesting how our world, and reality has unfolded.
No matter how we look at it, from what viewpoint or perspective, when using our human mind we are limited to our five senses our emotions and experience (our own or vicariously from others).
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But, we have within us the mind of Christ who reveals himself (when we allow him) and he IS truth. When we touch this dimension through metanoia a whole new world opens to us. We have ’seen’ very little of this yet because we need each other to help us walk in. Presently we are just ‘awakening’ to what this dimension holds, we ‘get’ little bits, then go back to being spiritually asleep again! This dimension of TRUTH is far above anything we have yet understood. Truth is a spirit and this ONE is all-powerful, all-knowing and has the ability to be everywhere at once.
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As each of us recognizes that this truth dwells within (through our separate situations and life experiences), no matter what part of that TRUTH we see, there is something we FEEL WITHIN that not only reinforces that we have touched ‘eternity’ but also unifies and connects us with each other. We FEEL IT as a warming loving embrace. That is his NATURE. In speaking openly and honestly to each other, we begin to ’see his nature’ in each other more often. And I’m continually surpprised by how very n-a-t-u-r-a-l it is. In fact if we leave the god-talk aside and express those deep feelings in our own words, we find we express that nature in a very fresh delightful way.
Hey there Jim, I finished Divine Nobodies not too long ago. I just wanted to say a couple of things to you while it’s still fresh in my head.
Most of my Christian life, from childhood on, has been characterized by chronic guilt and fear. One part of your book has particularly stayed with me, and I remind myself of this phrase frequently now, is that “all along God mostly wanted to save me.” ME. I have lived for years with such guilt about how God needs me out there saving the world, and how I am a miserable failure at doing His will. “flailing about in my ocean of despair, while still insistent on trying to rescue others.” I read this page (xxiv in the real introduction) to my husband, and he said, “that sounds like what you’ve been telling me for years.”
I’m on a roll here, reading a bunch of books like yours, and it feels like a caring hand is reaching down to pull me out of a place where I’ve been sinking and drowning… giving me hope where I thought there was none.
I know fundamentalism well. One thing I’m coming to realize is the great sin of it all, is that fundamentalism, as I’ve known it, cares more about being right than about being kind. As I’m reading right now through Matthew, I keep noting and reminding myself that Jesus cared about people. The rule-keepers cared about the rules. Jesus cared about people.
audrey nz, seems like what you are saying is that the mind multiplies an infinite number of understandings, concepts, models, belief systems, etc…about God. but if we pressed down into the “heart dimension” or those “deep feelings” that we are all touching the same reality, which makes us one. you refer to this as the “Christ nature.” i’m curious about what significance you place on referring to it as the “Christ nature.” for example…
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must one know it is the “Christ nature” to access it and experience it?
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if someone experiences this dimension, is it important that they be taught it is the “Christ nature?”
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what if someone uses a different name for it, would you seek to correct them?
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sounds like you attach significance to this dimension being connected to a Christ framework. is that fair? i’m not being critical of that as much as i’m trying to understand a little more about where you are coming from.
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thanks!
I was recently in Tennessee, where I learned that
a) I was in the buckle of the Bible Belt of the USA
b) blog…. is short for web log……(thanks Jeffrey) and
c) you don’t inhale the smoke when smoking a cigar…..(thanks Rick!)
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Although b) and c) were interesting, it was a) that really got me to pondering….I believe that I was exposed, in some ways, to a different culture – not because Saskatchewan doesn’t have fundamentalist churches, but we do not live in a fundamentalist society. It struck me that this caused some differences – both in my own personal experience and in the experience of life in my community.
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Anyway, what I am finding interesting, is that some of what is being said, just sounds so much like Jesus. For example Cheryl said the following:
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1.” But who I am is not limited by, defined by or perfectly understood in a comprehensive sort of way by any one individual ”
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2. “I kind of think fundamentalism, in its simplest definition, is one person insisting that they know the most about me and have the right and the ability to have the final word on defining me. They say there is one “right” experience and that any other experience is “not right.” And even if they say don’t actually think that, if pressed, they would say that one is “more right” or “more accurate,” according to their set of beliefs. This would be silly, of course, since any one individual is not only having a different experience than the next individual, but is himself/herself changing over time. ”
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To me, Jesus who walked the earth and who I believe is here in Spirit today, could have penned those very words. It seems that even though He is lumped into much of the fundamentalist thinking, He was actually the quintessential ringleader in gaining distance from fundamentalist thinking…. He stood transcendant to any one person’s idea about knowing Him in full. Not unlike Cheryl. Or me.
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For me, the totality of the reality and truth of who one individual is – me, Jesus, , or anyone, transcends any one person’s experience. However, I do not believe that this ultimately alters that the totality of the reality and truth of who one individual is , exists. For me, that makes all the difference in the world.
Cheryl, so much of what you wrote in your two comments I can identify with. For me, you really nailed the insidiousness of “fundamentalism” by showing how it violates another person’s identity and freedom – “one person insisting that they know the most about me and have the right and the ability to have the final word on defining me.” This kind of fundamentalism you describe seems to be a form of oppression, even abuse.
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Also, I can relate to how paradox describes where you currently are. For example, “Shockingly (even to me!), I’d have to say I am beginning to think I don’t believe in an “absolute truth.” But, curiously enough, that doesn’t make God or Jesus less real to me.” I’d have to say that I seem to be at a place that is often paradoxical in nature – the kind of thing that the fundamentalist has a hard time accepting. The fundamentalist demands that it all line up on their terms.
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Have you decided on what kind of tat are you getting?
Boy Cheryl, you are far from alone here re this:
* You said,
This helps me understand why I always got so hung up on the whole “relationship with Jesus Christ” talk; it was so very untangible, intellectual and pre-prescribed, if that makes sense….all things a “relationship” isn’t……
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yes, precribed, linear and forumlaic and “automatic” indeed….is often, it seems, how this is “taught”….
A significant mistake was ‘not’ being honest with myself. It’s extremely unsettling to have thoughts about the idea God being an unknowable mystery when you’re raised Southern Baptist but eventually my need to be honest with myself out-weighed my need for the idea of God to be knowable.
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Not being ok with mystery, wanting a logical conclusion to life was also a mistake. It took many years and much energy before I was willing to be ok with mystery.
Cheryl – ya – it’s not that I no longer seek, hunger for, or am open to this Relationship, it’s just that I no longer see it as linear, formulaic, or automatic. (which would make sense as this is not the principles that get ascribed to building any other intimate connection).
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Sue Monk Kidd’s “When The Heart Waits”, is, for me, a beautiful autobiographical account of her non-linear, not-engineered, yet open and vulnerable – availability to God – and the beauty, growth and transformation that came out of that for her.
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SMK’s journey description I experience as a much more “feminine” (if you will), openness and vulnerability to the divine-human connection, than the “masculine”,( if you will )- conquering mentality of it – which fits more my own experience of my past earlier exposure. (I hope no one hears in this sexism or negativity, as this is certainly not my intent.) I’m trying to speak very generally about more classic feminine/masculine descriptors.
Jim,
Thanks so much for the post…it’s unsettling sometimes to see someone else write what could very well be my own story!
I had experienced many of the same mistakes, but more as realizing something was wrong with my reactions to my dislikes (about church, fundametalism, other people, etc), and not being able to put the finger on it…
The over correction honestly has never been a huge problem for me (so I feel!), as I’ve always tried to stay middle of the road on a lot of things, not as mediocre, but rather as refusing to judge someone based on their opinions, actions, status, color, etc. There obviously have been huge lapses in this for me; humanity shines forth!
Probably one of the areas I can identify most with is the insecurity issues…I tend to “over confide” in others, things that possibly would best remain private, almost as if needing their confirmation that I’m doing right, when most of the time these are logical, sound decisions (financial, moral, etc) that require no explanation to anybody.
I do identify with the laziness aspect as well. I love to read, love learning new things, ideas, concepts, etc., but most evenings I’m so worn out from work, that I end up vegging…that one needs work!
We are also at an interesting place,not quite transitional, but I feel it coming…the whole church structure just doesn’t make sense anymore (at this point in our lives, FOR US-I stress that point!)…yesterday the pastor spoke on how we disappoint God when we don’t get active and “perform” well for God in the church (ie. get involved in the programs, etc).
I’m so turned off by that whole mindset…we spent 20 years in the ministry on the mission field, performing what “was right” for us to do…according to our “calling”, and it’s taken us this long to realize that if we do have a calling, it’s just to know Jesus, and walk with Him daily, enjoying life, our children, friends, grandkids, etc…
Knowing that it’s ok to hurt, to be confused, to realize that there is not always an immediate answer to all our questions…but at the same time realizing that God is still present in each of these situations…brings an awesome peace.
I appreciate you.
Hi, Jim !
My artist friend, Cheryl gave a link to your blog and I’ve been reading here a bit. I really appreciate what I’ve read by you and your commenters! I love to see people walking in freedom to be who they are and not who tradition thinks they should be.
Mistakes? Ha! I have many eye rolling memories that practically make me blush so I imagine I will keep creating new ones. It’s all good! Nothing is in vain. I think! ☺