Comments for Jim Palmer

Comment on Can we stop judging each other? by otto praxis

otto praxis — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:35:59 +0000

I think there are several different types of judging and we should probably come up with additional words to clarify this phenomenon. Like in Indonesia there are like 26 different words to describe rice. Italians have several different words to describe pasta. If we assign new words to the different types of judging then maybe we can look more closely at this issue. For example, there is a type of judging that is healthy, like voting, we have to draw a judgement and make a decision. BUT there is a type that is ugly and destructive, the type that assesses an individual, on limited information, and then proceeds to feeling of superiority and the urge to disparage the other person. I’m thinking it may have something to do with our need to quickly organize incoming information, sort things into categories, so we can make decisions and proceed. Maybe our brains are lazy. Maybe there is a conferred survival advantage to feeling superior, kinda like an athlete “psyching out” his opponent.

I don’t know, what does everyone else think? Can we work out our muscle of non-judgement and train our brains not to need to jump to conclusions? Is this important to God? If so, how important? I’m guessing it might be very important.

Comment on Can we stop judging each other? by Eli

Eli — Thu, 10 May 2012 05:33:33 +0000

I too can be very quick to judge and be convinced of my what my mind conjures up about someone else’s thoughts and intentions. Very scary when I catch myself doing it. It is actually quite irrational which is driven by deeper fears and issues that I struggle to admit or put my finger on.
Growing up I heard ‘do not judge’ plenty enough, but not so much understanding was given as to why we judge beyond having a ‘sinful/weak nature’.
To my mind a huge contributor is my fear of the other, mixed in with a healthy portion of jealousy which is in many ways fear of not having what someone else has. ie the fear that we live in a finite system so any gains made by others are a threat to my gains. The fear of the other comes out of insecurity around my own worldview and values such that anyone acting differently is a threat, especially if they are experiencing success. I have been conditioned to believe my way is the right way or only way.
All the advice offered above by otto praxis is spot on.
Add to that we should actively seek out the other and get to know them, whether we think they are better or worse off than us.
Shalom!

Comment on Can we stop judging each other? by otto praxis

otto praxis — Wed, 09 May 2012 23:41:55 +0000

Several things have helped me:

1.) I know my own life is complicated and so I resolve to give others that leeway also.

2.) Usually when I judge I have noticed that God allows me to be judged shortly there after.

3.) Actively studying about the complexities of human behavior.

4.) Daring to befriend or care for another person who is not perfect and trying to get insight or understanding into how they arrived where they did.

5.) Certain events in life have led me to believe that judging others really pisses God off, like I’ve gotten the sense that is will be play a huge roll in how God deals with us.

6.) I imagine if I were God that I would be ominiscient and know everything that brought a person to act a certain way and since I know I’m not God I know that I don’t know everything about that person.

7.) I want mercy extended to me.

Thanks for addressing this topic. A person could spend a life time trying to walk out the spirituality of Matthew 7:1-5 – “Judge not…” for sure.

Comment on Can we stop judging each other? by Grae taylor

Grae taylor — Wed, 09 May 2012 17:50:55 +0000

I find that I am so thankful for your reminder of this “UNIVERSAL TRUTH”… I have found that some truths are true regardless of the religious affiliation we place on them… Christian, Buddhism. Hinduism… And yes even paganism…. Do not kill, harm none, judge not. All true without a single label. If we would all take more time to listen but then to make practical, real application of our “truth”then the process of societal healing can begin.. Religion was never meant to be used as God’s crowbar.. We should be finding ways to reunite not repress our beautiful siblings of creation…

Comment on Dear Jim (sometimes I cotemplate walking away and then …) by Mick

Mick — Sun, 06 May 2012 00:22:20 +0000

Looks like a divine opportunity.

Comment on Dear Jim… (insert tears here) by Verdada Praxis

Verdada Praxis — Wed, 02 May 2012 23:09:37 +0000

Let me first say that I think there is no Right answer to this situation that ANY human being could give, but one thing I do know, is that God will not condemn you to hell or that you should not think of it in those terms. There is no strongly specific scripture that would address this specific situation, only lots of indirectly related ones. Why would God not give us specific instructions for something so important? Why do we “see through a glass darkly”? Why would He require that we wrestle with these questions? Why did Jesus speak in parables? “Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand”. Jesus even said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure”. There is definitely a sense of hidden meaning in Scripture and so I have learned that looking for the hidden meaning may be what this life is about. I have determined that either there is no God at all OR He has a VERY good reason for making us go through stuff like this. I have worked in health care for the last 18 years, including some years in hospice, and I have seen just about every imaginable suffering there is, including caring for a man who was on his third liver transplant (what must that be like?). I guess what I am trying to say is that though the disease you have is devastating, and it will be a bitch to go through the trials that lie ahead, that there might be VERY IMPORTANT meaning to it, to each day. My gut feeling is that we are all in boot camp preparing for something grander. It’s as if by going through these things that our heavenly muscles and receptors are being developed and that if we did not go through them we would not be prepared or even able to perceive the fullness of what is to come. Now, my thoughts are certainly not original. Much greater minds than mine have hinted at this. See C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce, “And the Saved?” (what happens to them) “Ah, the Saved…what happens to them is best described as the opposite of a mirage. What seemed, when they entered it, to be the vale of misery turns out, when they look back, to have been a well…” Also C.S. Lewis’ friend Sheldon VanAuken who wrote, A Severe Mercy, in speaking of his wife’s death embarks on an intense experience of grief, “to find the meaning of it, taste the whole of it … to learn from sorrow whatever it had to teach.”
No, Black Diamond, you will not be doomed to Hell but God may have something amazing in that journey of watching your earthly body fade. This may be the biggest fucking mountain you ever road down and owned. The journey that those who travel with you, may bear fruit also. Sister…see you at the bottom.

Comment on Dear Jim… (insert tears here) by Hannah

Hannah — Wed, 02 May 2012 10:27:32 +0000

I want this woman (I assume this letter is from a woman) to know that I just prayed for her to get clarity from God in this situation. God is RIGHT THERE with her in this; He is right there listening to her and her plight. I do not agree or disagree with assisted suicide because every situation is totally different. I know a man personally who has sever muscular dystrophy and his mother feeds him and he cannot talk but in a whisper and lives in a bed in his living room, which he is completely confined to. This guy is so so cool. I cannot even imagine being him though, never being able to feed himself, never being able to have sex with a woman he loves, never being able to be in love and have a family. I guess the issue comes down to a person’s definition of life on this earth. What is life?? The definition of life is defferent fro everybody; it is supposed to be. Jesus said “I have come that they may have life, and live it to the fullest”. Has she lived her life to the fullest???
I had this cat. She was 19 years old. She was my best friend I have ever had. I was tormented the day that I put her down. My God what had I done! She could have lived a little bit longer. She could have been alive and I killed her. She had horrible pain and she had something terribly wrong with her kidneys. I had told myself I wanted her dead before she lost all of her nowel control and her balance and could no longer walk. I was traumatized for months after I did this, and once I started telling people about how broken I was about making this decision, they told me I did the right thing and it would have been cruel to keep her alive longer. Inhumane even.
So there are two sides to this same card. This brings up an interesting point, however, and that is our treatment of human beings. There was no hesitation to put my cat down, but when it comes to “putting people down” in a sense, we have so much judgment and tell the person that they are horrible. Do they tell a cat who is dying that they need to continue on in suffereng??
I do not believe the God of her life would condemn her to Hell for this decision, whatever it may be. God looks at the heart; we see that over and over in the bible. He sees this woman’s heart. Maybe it has been too hard for her to ask Him about this, and maybe she prays about it a lot, but either way I encourage her to tell God what is going on in her heart and soul and her pain and anger and fear. I cannot imagine having to consider suicide due to a terminal illness like this. This strong precious dear woman.
Jesus said “There is therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. If this woman is in Christ, nothing can seperate us from him. Not even death. I am pretty positive that God is bigger than this potential suicide. Not life, nor death, can seperate us from the love of God.
Do what you will And be happy about what you choose.

Comment on Dear Jim… (insert tears here) by Orient Coleman

Orient Coleman — Wed, 02 May 2012 04:24:23 +0000

<3 This is a very tough place you are in!

I know you asked Jim, but I wanted to tell you that I think your choice will be the right one for you. Your power to choose has not been removed. I encourage you to be just as proactive, determined, free, and effective in your choices as you ever were. In light of your own needs (and those of your loved ones if that is right for you), weigh the wins and losses in fighting it out for as long as you can versus ending your life. I encourage you to celebrate that you have the power to determine your course and to be content in your determination.

For what it is worth, I bless you!!

Comment on Dear Jim… (insert tears here) by Rhonda Sayers

Rhonda Sayers — Wed, 02 May 2012 04:23:48 +0000

I like the term that my friend David WatersSr uses and hope that “assisted death” is available if my departure from this body is going to be horribly painful and drawn out.
I do not endorse assisting death for any reason other than terminal disease or extremely long drawn out painful death.

Comment on Dear Jim… (insert tears here) by Christina

Christina — Wed, 02 May 2012 00:56:32 +0000

I was faced with this question in ethics class last semester. I found after long thought that I stand in the middle ground. Life is a very precious gift and should be preserved if possible. But life throws us curve balls and we know it can and will end.

It pains me to read the hurt you are experiencing. I want you to know that God loves you with everything He is and everything He has is yours. To what degree you are suffering, no one on this planet can judge that except you.

For those that are suffering I feel it is another issue all together. When a person is terminal and comfort becomes a great concern, there is hospice care. I feel that the end with dignity and lack of suffering should be a part of the hospice care offered and yet it’s not, even in our modern times and understanding of terminal illnesses and the great expence involved. Hospice could prepare the family for assisted death in the same way they do now for those in their comfort care.

My only problem with suicide is that it is usually a lonely moment. When the end comes naturally loved ones gather and have the chance to say good-bye, and things that need to be said, either in person or by phone. In the event of an accident, its filed in our minds as just that, but suicide is on purpose. It leaves a void instead of embracing the moment of passage in life surrounded by love. Survivors must go on and try to cope with what they may not have the ability to understand. We are all connected. Take care to concider those who will pain greatly without you…because you mean the world to someone, no matter what condition they get you.

Be Loved!