Jim Palmer

Jim March 9th, 2011

PERSONAL COACHING OPPORTUNITIES WITH JIM

I recently posted Eminem’s song Going through Changes on my Facebook wall. That’s where I’m at these days — changes. Life is change and change is often uncomfortable, but I’m learning that maintaining the status quo won’t get me very far. “Insanity” is sometimes defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Busted! I admit it; I am sometimes guilty of this kind of magical thinking. But after some personal introspection and evaluation, I realized that I needed to make some changes. One of those changes involved creating a way to more effectively come alongside people and support them in their journeys.

When I was a pastor, the most enjoyable part for me was being accessible to people and having the opportunity to take an active role in the personal growth of others. My schedule revolved around meeting with people. Whether it was in my church office or at Starbucks, a big part of my weekly schedule involved responding to those who desired spiritual direction or counseling. As a pastor, it was assumed that I would have this kind of relationship and role in people’s lives, and the salary I received ensured that I would have both the time and energy to do this.

Leaving vocational ministry and becoming an author has been a challenging transition. I enjoy writing and plan to continue doing so, but it has also changed how I relate to others in way I have not liked. I draw my energy from being with people, and spending hours alone writing each day has required quite an adjustment. Meanwhile, an increasing number of folks contact me daily in search of support and guidance, which I give freely, enjoy doing and receive benefit from, personally.

As an author, I’d like to believe that both myself and others could gain whatever we needed by simply reading a book. But I have repeatedly seen how interacting with others is an integral part of the process for change and growth. Over the last few years on my journey, I have been fortunate to have had some key people in my life who have encouraged and supported me in very significant ways.

There are some things that are very difficult to do on your own. I remember back in 2005 when the tectonic plates of my life first began shifting. Despite having a Masters of Divinity degree and 15 years of experience as a professional minister, I decided to chart a new path for my life outside of institutional religion. I wanted to explore spirituality and my life purpose and identity, untangled from the assumptions, limitations and expectations of religion. I began sharing my story with others and published two books: Divine Nobodies: Shedding Religion to Find God (and the unlikely people who help you), and Wide Open Spaces: Beyond Paint-by-Number Christianity. Along the way, people have increasingly contacted me to share their own journey of “shedding religion,” seeking encouragement, understanding and guidance. I discovered that “shedding religion” peels back more and more layers of self-awareness, which essentially feels like dismantling your entire life and starting over. The process of deconstructing and rebuilding one’s life can be a messy, complex and volatile process, impacting every area of life as we know it, including our purpose and path, core values and relationships.

For some time now I have felt a growing frustration around having neither the time nor the energy to invest myself in a person’s journey at the level that would be most helpful. There’s nothing more exasperating than to have something useful to give another person and not be able to give it! Realistically, I can’t make myself accessible and available to the degree or depth I did as a pastor, because it’s now necessary to use the balance of my time (when I am not writing) to supplement my income in order to pay the bills. It makes for a maddening conundrum!

Ironically, a friend recently suggested that I consider taking a more active mentoring role in the lives of people who are navigating the process of deconstructing and rebuilding their lives. “Like a life coach?” I asked. “Absolutely,” she said.

To be honest, I have always been somewhat skeptical of “Life Coaching.” Admittedly, this is just a hang-up of mine and so I decided to dig into it to see what I would find. As I explored the topic further, it seemed to confirm my skepticism and general misgivings about it. Here are a couple things I discovered:

1) Life Coaching is Expensive! It’s not uncommon for a Life Coach to charge $160 per hour and require a minimum of 90 minutes a session, which means $240. Huh??? $240! I don’t think Wanda the Waitress or Rick the Tire Salesman are going to be signing up for that!!

2) Life Coaching is Goal Focused. The hook I often saw associated with life coaching had to do with improving your circumstances and/or accomplishing a certain outcome in life, such as achieving a successful career, becoming financially independent, or attracting new relationships in your life. But it has been my experience that the kind of growth and change that is foundational to all the aspects of a person’s life is something that happens deep inside at a core level, and tends to be a vigorous process that leaves no stone unturned.

The more I explored all of this, the more clearly I saw a need I could fill, which was evidenced by the number of people who were contacting me. It’s often the case that at the very point when a person most needs understanding, empathy and guidance, that they find themselves in a position of being on their own. People in the “shedding religion” process often leave organized church, which means leaving behind the programs, structures and relationships of support they once depended on. In many cases, the person is misunderstood and often rejected. My Inbox is regularly filled with emails from people who share this story. It’s not uncommon as I become more involved in someone’s journey that they jokingly refer to me as their new “pastor.”

Speaking of being a pastor, I know a lot more now than I did way back when. Although I never bought into the Guru-Follower paradigm, over the years I have learned a lot about deep change and growth. Through attaining my Masters of Divinity degree, 15 years of counseling people as a pastor, training for and completing marathons and triathlons, and exploring virtually every approach and reading every book (twice) known to mankind about personal transformation, I have acquired the knowledge and experience to offer guidance in the following areas:

• Shedding Religion
• Spiritual Direction
• Inner Healing
• Leadership Development (building movements and causes)
• Public Speaking Coaching
• Writing and Publishing Coaching
• Church Consulting (for pastors and church leaders)
• Inner Obstacles Counseling (addressing core issues underlying fear, low self-esteem, depression, codependency)
• Cultivating Healthy Relationships
• Fitness Coaching
• Endurance Sports Training

Specifics aside, the essence of what I have learned over the course of my journey is this: Transformation happens as a result of taking personal responsibility (ownership) for identifying and doing your personal work (commitment) with others (relationship). It involves living in healthy relationship with yourself (integrity), relationship with others (vulnerability), and relationship with the world (authenticity). It is my true desire to make myself available to support and guide people through this process, for I believe it will bring me closer to living the life I want to live — a life that includes contributing directly to the well-being of others. It is important to me that I offer my time at a rate that is affordable for anyone, but also helps me meet my financial obligations, which ensures that I may continue to make myself available.

I have based the rate of my personal coaching services on a sliding scale. It’s typical for someone to do a 1-hour coaching session at $50. There is a lot of flexibility here, and I encourage you to explore with me the possibility of scheduling regular sessions at a rate that works for you.

I also lead Cohort Groups, a group of eight people who make a six-month commitment to doing their personal work in community with each other. In addition to my weekly individual sessions with group members, a private forum is created for cohort members to check in, connect and dialogue with one another.

Contact me directly by email at nobody.jimpalmer@gmail.com to schedule a session and to establish terms of payment.

PASTORAL SERVICES

People who are not actively involved in organized church are often interested in various pastoral services such as weddings and pastoral counseling. As an ordained minister I can provide these and other pastoral services. Feel free to contact me about this as well.

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